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Cogs can think.

I'm a mere, tiny, insignificant cog in a whole clockwork of stupidity.
The little cog that wanted to break free, I am.

I like it...

Tuesday, November 30, 2004


Meh, missed my bus this morning because the clock was being a dick. So I had to take my car to the trainstation; not that big a deal be it not that the cops tend to fine at will at the trainstation these days. So I was kind of afraid to find yet another 45,- E fine underneath my window wiper. There wasn't :).

And ohhhh man Mopsie was alive and kicking today :). Me and Malou had to pick something up at the library, and Mopsie was two places ahead in line! I couldn't believe my eyes! And to make matters "worse", she was wearing a short skirt and... Okay let's keep it decent around here.

But I still haven't heard here voice (very important in a girl, for me) and I still don't know here name. Damnit!

And, it's my birthday tomorrow! I'll be twenty in exactly 10 hours! Twenty! Life is certainly going too fast... Yet so much has happened in my short life, maybe more than was supposed to happen (without being melodramatic), that these 20 years literally flew by...

PS: I'll plan to actually celebrate my b-day somewhere mid-january, to circumvent the holidays. However, nothing is certain, as is usual with me.

Another Saturday Night

Sunday, November 28, 2004


I had a nice saturday evening. Due to me buying the iBook a few days ago, I did not have enough money to go out. So me and two friends of mine decided to simply go to my place and watch some TV.

We had lots of fun, we watched cabaret, Guido Weijers, and it was fuckin' funny! And of course we watched Dit Was Het Nieuws as well... Also fuckin' funny! In the end they wanted to go home, but we started discussing how we should organize new year's eve. So, we got some more alchohol, and sat down behind the TV again.

Support The People Of Ukraine

Thursday, November 25, 2004


I hereby wish to give my support to the people of the Ukraine. Joesjtsjenko is the legitimate new president of this country, not Janoekovitsj. Sad to see American-ish undemocratic situations in a European country.

I hope the conflict can be resolved without the use of violence.

New iBook!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004


Yeah! I just traded in my old G4 iMac for a brand spankin'-new G4 iBook!! I'm happy :).

  • 1.07 Ghz G4

  • 256 MB RAM

  • 12.1" Screen, 1024x768

  • DVD-ROM/CD-R(RW) Slot-loading Combodrive

  • 30 GB Harddisk


  • Finally the whole iMac disaster is behind me. Finally a computer that works. Oh the joy :).

    An Open Letter To NYC

    Tuesday, November 23, 2004


    Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten
    From the Battery to the top of Manhattan
    Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin
    Black, White, New York you make it happen

    Brownstones, water towers, trees, skyscrapers
    Writers, prize fighters and Wall Street traders
    We come together on the subway cars
    Diversity unified, whoever you are
    We're doing fine on the One and Nine line
    On the L we're doin' swell
    On the number Ten bus we fight and fuss
    'Cause we're thorough in the boroughs and that's a must
    I remember when the Duece was all porno flicks
    Running home after school to play PIX * 1
    At lunch I'd go to Blimpies down on Montague Street
    And hit the Fulton Street Mall for the sneakers on my feet
    Dear New York I hope you're doing well
    I know a lot's happen and you've been through hell
    So, we give thanks for providing a home
    Through your gates at Ellis Island we passed in droves

    Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten
    From the Battery to the top of Manhattan
    Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin
    Black, White, New York you make it happen

    The L.I.E. the B.Q.E
    Hippies at the band shell with the L.S.D.
    Get my BVD's from VIM
    You know I'm reppin' Manhattan the best I can
    Stopped off at Bleeker Bob's got thrown out
    Sneakin' in at 4:00 am after going out
    You didn't rob me in the park at Dianna Ross
    But everybody started looting when the light went off
    From the South South Bronx on out to Queens Bridge
    From Hollis Queens right down to Bay Ridge
    From Castle Hill to the Lower East Side
    From 1010 WINS to Live At Five
    Dear New York this is a love letter
    To you and how you brought us together
    We can't say enough about all you do
    'Cause in the city were ourselves and electric too

    Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten
    From the Battery to the top of Manhattan
    Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin
    Black, White, New York you make it happen

    Shout out the South Bronx where my mom hails from
    Right next to High Bridge across from Harlem
    To the Grand Concourse where my mom and dad met
    Before they moved on down to the Upper West
    I see you're still strong after all that's gone on
    Life long we dedicate this song
    Just a little something to show some respect
    To the city that blends and mends and tests
    Since 911 we're still livin'
    And lovin' life we've been given
    Ain't nothing gonna take that away from us
    Were lookin' pretty and gritty 'cause in the city we trust
    Dear New York I know a lot has changed
    2 towers down but you're still in the game
    Home to many; rejecting no one
    Accepting peoples of all places, wherever they're from


    Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten
    From the Battery to the top of Manhattan
    Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin
    Black, White, New York you make it happen


    (c) 2004 Beastie Boys

    I seriously need to go to New York City.

    Saturday Night

    Monday, November 22, 2004


    Well, shame on me! I forgot to say anything about my saturdaynight here on my blog!

    In any case, it was a fun evening, that's for sure! First me, Marcel, Tom and Gerard (one of Murph's fellow soldiers) went to De Rooie Leeuw in Zuid-Scharwoude-- nice experience... But damn, when even I have to bow down to kiss one of them girls, then they are certainly way too young ;). So, me, Marcel and Tom decided to head off to Alkmaar. There we tried to get into the Corridor, but the bouncer was trying very hard to be a dick. Millions of people came out, but he let no one in. Damn, next time I'll bring along Sas and Renate, then we'll certainly get in :P.

    So we diceded to go to the Joey's, which is kind of turning into the place where we go everytime. It was a blast, in the end we were a little bit under the influence; expressed in the fact that Marcel started to randomly speak to chicks, asking them wether they had already seen his watch ("But look, it has a cool light!!"). I immediatly wanted to state that mine looked better (which it does), but I was almost rolling on the floor with laughter :D. So darn funny!

    The Joey's shutdown at around 02:30, soit was time to head home. With a slight (ugh) increase of alcohol in my system I grabbed some fooooood and hopped into my bed.

    Was a great evening, and I swear, the moment we score a chick with the help of a watch, I'll loose all faith in women! ;).

    iMac Dead?

    Sunday, November 21, 2004


    A lot of thanks to the retards over at the Apple Store Uitgeest. Those morons came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with my iMac's hardware "after testing it for three days". Can they then please explain to me how the hell I could conclude that my hardware IS screwed, in under two hours??

    My iMac began showing the familiar symptoms again: screen remnants, short green lines around my pointer, and in the end: complete screen freeze. OS X was still chugging along; I even shutdown OSX by guessing the Apple menu and the shutdown entry.

    I then installed Ubuntu-PPC. Quickly, I found out that there definitely is something wrong with my friggin' 1400E iMac: during some kernel output my entire screen got covered in vertical one-pixel wide lines... And later in use Ubuntu would show the same symptoms as OS X...

    In summation: the "experts" at the Apple Store can go to hell. I need a new logic board, or maybe a new videocard. Real nice, if it were not for the fact that a new logic board alone costs 400E! Damn...

    Victory!!

    Friday, November 19, 2004


    I did it! I got a higher grade than Renate!

    This is a historic moment.

    Storms arise. Encyclopedias release new editions. Balkenende resigns. Bush chokes on tobacco. Sony gets sane and releases "Extraordinary Machine"*. The Eagles dive into the studio again. Mopsie** falls head-over-heels in love with me.

    The world will never be the same again.

    Okay, now for the real deal: I had a 5.5/10, and Renaatje a 4/10. It still don't matter crap though, since our final grades for Biological Psychology are different. Renaat got a 6.5/10, and I a 6.0/10. Don't matter! I'm still extremely happy :).

    * Sony refuses to release Fiona Apple's third album (which has been ready for over 18 months now), saying the album has no profitable single. FUCK Sony.
    ** The name Renate and I gave to that little sweet girl I talk about, well, quite often :).

    Sullen Girl



    I just took a better look at the lyrics of "Sullen Girl" by Fiona Apple...

    Sullen Girl

    Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
    All day -- and all night
    I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
    I say to myself
    I need fuel -- to take flight --

    And there's too much going on
    But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
    Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

    Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl
    They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
    but he washed me shore and he took my pearl
    And left and empty shell of me

    And there's too much going on
    But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
    Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
    Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
    It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion


    One needs to know Fiona's past to understand this song thoroughly-- of course it's not that hard to find out that this song is about sexual harrasment-- but it gives me shivers once you remember that Fiona herself was raped when she was only 12 (!) years old...

    My Aunt

    Thursday, November 18, 2004
    Just had a long talk over the phone with my aunt who got fired earlier. It's just a shame how these sorts of thing always happen to the wrong people; she already has suffered so much in her life from disease, that I just cannot understand why this was supposed to happen to her.

    She already was partially unfit to perform work due to her medical condition; so she wasn't making an awful lot of money in the first place. However, the company which fired her, does take good care of her. Her salary will continue to be paid for x months, and she did recieve a bonus of an x amount of money (x for privacy reasons). Still, I feel pissed about this. A 53 year old woman with medical complications... It will be so hard for her to find a new job. I hope with all my heart that she does.

    PS: This phonecall broke a record: it lasted for 25 minutes and 15 seconds, obliterating my previous record of 17 minutes! Yeah, Bianc, the record ain't ours anymore... It now belongs to me and my aunt :). Why do I care, you ask? Well, I hate making phonecalls :).

    Another Happy Place!!

    Oh my god... I found another happy place... The teacher today... She is so sexy! Like, about 26 years old, geourgious body, sweet smile... Just perfect! I've never ever had such an... exciting class! Sexy class? Yes, definitely :). She didn't exactly try not to be sexy. I was definitely in love for two hours :).

    And of course that little girl I talked about a few days ago was there as well... I need more eyes!

    Okay, enough with the testosterone.

    My latest article just got published on OSNews.com. Read it here.

    My Jaw Is Now Complete!

    Wednesday, November 17, 2004
    After seven years I finally have my grinder back!!! Seven years ago they removed it because there was no new one underneath to replace it with; all my others did replace themselves, and they pressed the smaller one back into my jaw.

    After it had been removed I carried braces for a while. Then, about 1 year ago, they finally began work on my new grinder. After a bone transplant, and the placing of a metal base inside my lower jaw (about 2-3 cm long, 3-4 mm accross), they today placed the new grinder on that base.

    People already told me I hade pretty teeth, but now, with that new grinder, it looks even better :D.

    I Found My Happy Place

    Tuesday, November 16, 2004
    Meh I thought my day was ruined this morning. I had to get up really early (6 am) to get the 7:13 bus to Alkmaar, where I jump into the train to Amsterdam. I stepped out of the bus, in a very sleepy and pre-caffeine mood, only to find myself staring at the person I hate more than anyone else. Meh, imagine running into that person at 7 am. That's just the epitome of wrong.

    Just as I thought that this would therefore turn into a useless, bad-mooded (is that a word?) day, I saw "her" again in my classroom :). "She" is a very pretty little girl, with a little round face with a very sharp nose, round cheecks and thin beautiful lips, and enchanting brown hair... Basically the only reason why I still continue to go to these useless classes ;). Nah, just kidding, but she sure makes these classes a hell of a lot more pleasing :). Find a happy place! Find a happy place! Yeah, I did :).

    My Votes For The Top2000

    Monday, November 15, 2004
    I just placed my ten votes for the Top2000, the one-and-only Dutch all-time list of best songs in the history of music. My ten votes go to, in no particular order:

  • The Eagles - Hotel California (1977)

  • The Eagles - The Last Resort (1976)

  • Don McLean - Vincent (1972)

  • Don McLean - American Pie (1972)

  • Bruce Springsteen - Streets Of Philadelphia (1994)

  • U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday (1985)

  • Roxette - It Must Have Been Love (1990)

  • Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays (1979)

  • Bryan Adams - Summer Of '69 (1988?)

  • Johnny Cash - A Boy Named Sue (1969)


  • People who know me well will know that "The Last Resort" is my true number one, and that the Eagles is my favourite band of all time. Yet, it is very difficult to choose between "Hotel California" and "The Last Resort". The former is the opener of the best album ever, the latter the final epic of that very same album. The album "Hotel California", about the state of music, mankind, and the US in general, is still very much timeless. From "The Last Resort":

    You can leave it all behind
    and sail to Lahaina
    just like the missionaries did, so many years ago
    They even brought a neon sign: "Jesus is coming"
    Brought the white man's burden down
    Brought the white man's reign

    Who will provide the grand design?
    What is yours and what is mine?
    'Cause there is no more new frontier
    We have got to make it here

    We satisfy our endless needs
    and justify our bloody deeds,
    in the name of destiny
    and the name of God


    The most beautiful sequence of words ever put on paper. I wish more people (Mr. Bush, Balkenende, Blair, Sharon, etc) would stop and listen to this.

    On the other hand-- they're probably to stupid to comprehend the meaning.

    Bad Day.

    The nightmare continues... I suffered from yet another kernel panic loop... So I just zero'd my drive and now I'm installing 10.3.0, and see how that holds. If that doesn't work, then I'll have to resort to a odd measure... I'll install Ubuntu if OS X refuses to work.

    But more important stuff is going on right now. My aunt just got fired from her job, after 18 years of faithfull service. Completely unexpected she and 29 others were simply told to fuck off (they did get a large bonus, but still). Let's see how she holds.

    Test

    Well, my iMac didn't panic yesterday after that 3rd update. Might have to do with the fact that I unplugged all non-Apple USB devices... Not sure though.

    I'll do my second General Statistics test today. I'm pretty confident I'll pass it; I practiced yesterday and everything seems to be allright.

    Update: Passed the test with 9.33 points out of 10! :D

    More 10.3.6 Issues...

    Sunday, November 14, 2004
    Yeah my 4th entry in one day and I didn't even leave the house. Goes to show how exciting being at home can be ;).

    Anyway, my iMac just plunged into another kernel panic loop. I got very mad once again, almost breaking my door, but hey this is a 1400E machine that fucks up. That pisses me off, you know. Now, I again dived into the Apple forums, to yet again find a solution for the various problems the 10.3.6 update created for a lot of people.

    The number of posts about 10.3.6 increased exponentially, so I just picked one. That thread may have saved me a lot of hassle. The guy who started the thread was speaking of:

  • Messed up bootscreen;

  • An application called Applejack.


  • Now, that first one got my attention, since my bootscreen had a fucked up Apple logo as well. I studied that application called Applejack carefully, and I found out it was able to perform a whole load of maintenaince tasks in single-user mode (basically booting into console (for computer illiterates: remember that you had to type "cd keen" into a black screen one hundred years ago? That's basically console mode)). I let it perform all those tasks and, oh the joy, upon reboot my Apple logo didn't looked like a messed-up piece of Pixelart anymore! Hail Applejack!

    Now, I don't wish to cheer to early. It has fixed the logo, let's just hope it repaired Mac OS X.

    And a final note to Apple Computers, Inc.: Get your act together. You sell very expensive equipment, and when one does, one cannot simply release patchwork to one's customers. You claim to produce "The world's most advanced operating system". Either drop this claim, or get your friggin' act together. Or, hire the Applejack developpers.

    Update: Applejack didn't fix OS X. Just had another kernel panic. I'm on the verge of a goddamn nervous breakdown. APPLE, RELEASE A STATEMENT. Please, tell us loyal customers what the hell is going on. I'm getting sick of seeing my iMac grey out, asking me to reboot.

    Update 2: My iMac will see yet another trip to the Apple Store. I tried to reset the PRAM/NVRAM, supposedly a pretty basic troubleshooting step. Well, it completely nuked my iMac. It now won't even go past the grey bootscreen with the Apple logo. However, the Apple logo ain't fucked. That's the only thing to be happy about at the moment.

    Update 3: Well, using the Startup Manager I was finally able to boot into my OS X CD, and via there I did a disk/permissions repair. Did a reboot, and thank god it booted to Mac OS X. Now, let's see how long it takes for my iMac to panic on me once again. I give her 10 minutes.

    General Statistics

    Mmm lyrics like these really make Fiona Apple look very smart:

    My derring-do allows me to dance the rigadoon around you
    but by the time I'm close to you, I lose my desideratum


    I had to get the dictionary three times for two lines. Damn.

    ---

    I just started doing some Statistics. Again I wish to express my hatred towards this bullshit course. It's just not fair that something this hard and difficult is included in this study-- my guess is they simply made the other courses too easy, and they needed to have something to balance the scale.

    Screw them.

    Yet Another Birthday, cont'd

    Here is a re-post of my last Slashdot entry, just so that people won't miss it (assuming they'd care :P):

    "It was a great evening, had enough laughs in any case :). Someone made his first ever joke! Amazing.

    The guy turned 21-- kinda scary to see that I'll be friggin' 20 in three weeks...I'm like... Old... What if my friends around me start having kids and get married and such? I'm so close to thirty... And Erik Jan (I'm allowed to say his name) is now 21! How does he manage...

    -----

    Me and her still seem to get along pretty well, I really wonder where that comes from. I guess really bad experiences creates strong bonds too. Anyway, it was a good evening, and no, I still don't feel the urge to actually start celebrating my own birthday with all my friends and such-- somehow I always seem to think it's too much of a hassle. Well, I'll wait and see. Maybe I'll actually do celebrate it."

    First post!

    I have a real blog now! The whole Slashdot thing kinda seriously started to bore me-- it is simply too limited. For people who still wish to read those posts, go here.

    Anyway, I wanted a more advanced blog/journal/whatever, so I could post photos and such, just adds some extras to the whole thing. Yesterday I found out people acutally read my blog, reason enough to expand it.

    Enjoy :).